“The loss of the mother to the daughter, the daughter to the mother, is the essential female tragedy.”

Adrienne Rich, from Of Woman Born

Mother Hunger is the work of Kelly McDaniel, who recognized that women often suffer from a deep attachment injury, which she has named Mother Hunger. Her work has allowed women to begin to process the deep pain and frequently complicated consequences of having this type of early mothering experience. In naming this injury, Kelly has given words to the often untalked-about pain that results from women who have mothers who cannot provide necessary nurturance, guidance, and protection to their little ones. What Kelly makes clear is this work is not about blaming mothers. Mothering and the significance of this role have been diminished and attacked in the patriarchal society we have all grown up in. Mothers do their best, even when it often is significantly short of what is needed. Healing from Mother Hunger involves learning what that means, acknowledging and, in doing so, creating space for grieving the loss, and recovery.

The impact of experiencing insufficient mothering as a little one is profound and lifelong. The consequences are numerous. These women grow up suffering from addiction (to love, to work, to drugs and alcohol, to beauty), experience difficulty in relationships, develop food sensitivities and eating disorders, auto-immune disorders and sleeping problems, anxiety, depression, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder and narcissism, bipolar disorder and many more mental and physical difficulties. These are also the women who find themselves feeling unfulfilled in work, with a general sense of depression or aloneness, no matter how many people are around.

The good news is that healing is possible and happens over time with gentle and caring attunement to the self. Learning how to attune to oneself often requires a healthy model and attachment relationships. Some women find it helpful to work through this wound with the support of a caring, emphatically intuned attachment-based therapist.

Therapy for People is gathering contact information for women interested in healing the mother’s wound together. Sign up to join the list below.

The impact of experiencing insufficient mothering as a little one is profound and lifelong. The consequences are numerous. These women grow up suffering from addiction (to love, to work, to drugs and alcohol, to beauty), experience difficulty in relationships, develop food sensitivities and eating disorders, auto-immune disorders and sleeping problems, anxiety, depression, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder and narcissism, bipolar disorder and many more mental and physical difficulties. These are also the women who find themselves feeling unfulfilled in work, with a general sense of depression or aloneness, no matter how many people are around.